I've been thinking a lot about this saying I saw the other day. I've been thinking about it because sometimes I think people misunderstand my jokes or sarcasm as being mean. I don't usually have mean jokes, but weeks like this, they just slip out. When I went through infertility, my humor became a little dark and negative. I had a hard time coping, and my new found dark humor helped me out a little. I've been working on that, but every once in a while something will come out and surprise me. Then I feel terrible for days. I never know who to apologize to, because I don't know who heard it or how they took it. It's supposed to be a joke, but some people are much purer than I am (such an admirable quality), and they get offended by such remarks. I hope to have friends who overlook my "broken fence." I'd like to think I have many beautiful flowers in my garden that are noticeable in the front as well as deep in the back of the garden. Who knows?
Along with these feelings, I've decided on a couple of goals for myself. You know the saying, "In order to make a friend, you have to be a friend?" Well, I'm going to do this. Honestly, it's terrifying for me to make new friends, but I really need to. I don't have any real "hang out" friends. The friends I have are lovely, but I don't regularly hang out with anyone. I don't feel comfortable just calling someone up to talk, except for Lance, my mother, and my sister. So, Goal #1 is to make new friends. I need to anyway, since I just barely moved.
Goal #2: Teach my kid(s) (hopefully we can have more kids soon) to be friendly and serve others. How do I do this? Well, start off by teaching them service, by showing them service, and actually going out and serving others. Also, make sure they have opportunities to invite friends over, teach them good manners and how to be nice, and treat them nicely, too.
I hope that by doing these things, I will have a happier life and make a lot of new, lasting friends who want to hang out with me sometimes.
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