National Adoption Month

Hi everyone!  November is National Adoption Month!! 

As most of you know, adoption is very important to Lance and me.  We started our own adoption journey a little over a year ago, and while we stopped it because we finally got pregnant, we are still HUGE supporters of adoption.  We also have four adopted nieces and nephews, who we love a ton! (Loving them is no different than loving our biological nieces and nephews, FYI.  Some people worry about not loving an adopted child as much as a biological one.)

Our cute nieces and nephews

I know there are many people out there who are curious or interested in adoption, but don't know a lot of details, so they're a little scared to move forward with it.  I want you to know that it is an amazing journey.  It is a wonderful blessing.  Not only are you doing a service to the child, but to the birth mother as well.  And, you get a sweet little child to add to your family.

The process to get accepted is a little long, but it's not as bad as you'd think.  It's a lot of paperwork, yes, but very worth it.  You do have to have home studies, interviews with your caseworker, and background checks.  They don't want to give a child to just anyone.  Chances are, if you don't have a criminal record or a serious mental illness, you're good to go.  (P.S. Being depressed because of infertility does not qualify as a serious mental illness.  All of us who have experienced infertility have been through it, and it's okay to be sad.)  You also need to take adoption classes.  They're not bad.  You learn a lot about the process, birth mothers, and getting "chosen."  Yes, you get chosen by a birth mother, so it could take years or it could be a matter of days once you're approved.  That's a big deterrent for people.  Yes, it can be emotional, but waiting a few years is a lot better than not getting a child at all, right?

Many of us hear about people who get chosen, but the birth mother decides to keep the child, or someone else involved in her life steps in and decides to keep the child.  That is not the norm.  Yes, it happens from time to time, but you get similar risks with a pregnancy (miscarriage, still birth, etc.).  You'll be put back on the list and hope for a better outcome next time.  Don't get me wrong.  I know it's heartbreaking, but the fear of that should not deter you from choosing to adopt.

Another deterrent is money.  At LDS Family Services, they treat it like tithing, 10% of your income.  It can be a lot, but as many of you who have been through infertility know, it's well worth it to get a child.

Something I really enjoyed about the process of adoption was the support.  I went to monthly meetings held by LDS Family Services that were for women who are waiting to adopt or have already adopted.  We got together and talked about things that were on our minds about infertility and adoption.  It was nice to meet people in my same situation and become friends, and to get my questions answered by people who have been through it.  I think that a lot of other adoption agencies have support groups as well.  I just know mostly about LDS Family Services because that is the agency we went through.

If you're on the fence about adoption, or even slightly considering it, my advice is to at least call an agency to get more information.  The initial call or appointment usually is just to inform you and make sure it is what you want to do.  There isn't usually a fee for that (some private agencies may have a fee, but ask when you call).

I hope this gave you a little insight to the process.  Adoption ROCKS!!!